Therapy for Highly Dependent Adult Children

Highly Dependent Adult Children-also referred to as “Failure to Launch” or FTL-are adults of any age who have not yet achieved independence or interdependence, and still rely on significant parental support. Highly Dependent Adult Children are unemployed and not meaningfully engaged in an educational or vocational training program. They live at home or rely on their parents to pay for their housing. Their parents finance their entire lifestyle, including food, phone, internet access, shelter, and entertainment. Highly Dependent Adult Children’s lack of “launching” is not due to severe mental illness, physical disability, or caregiver responsibilities.

What are the defining features of Highly Dependent Adult Children?

Highly Dependent Adult Children is not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM V-TR), however, the condition is known by sufferers, their parents, clinicians, and researchers.

Failure to Launch is a combination of behaviors not due to severe mental illness, disability, raising children, or caring for elderly or sick family members.

1. Adults over the age of 18

2. Not in educational, employment, and training (NEET)

3. If enrolled in college or vocational program, not participating in a significant way

4. Living at home or housing paid for by parents

What are other symptoms of Highly Dependent Adult Children?

• Disrupted sleep

• Social isolation

• Excessive media consumption (eg. video games, online communities, adult content)

• Rely on parents for basic needs and responsibilities

• Mental health problems—often anxiety disorders, OCD, ADHD, depression

• Physical health problems—sedentary lifestyle, lack of sun

• Can be present in adults of any age

• Condition is chronic without intervention

How does treatment work?

I offer parent-based treatment using the SPACE FTL modality (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions- Failure to Launch). This means I work directly with parents on modifying their own behavior to influence positive change in their adult child’s behavior with the goal of promoting independence. Parents will be guided as they create an action plan of gradually and supportively reducing accommodations of their adult child’s lifestyle. Parents will learn to set and maintain limits, while requiring the highly dependent adult to take meaningful steps towards independence, such as securing employment, enrolling in college, or taking more responsibility for their day-to-day tasks. Treatment for Highly Dependent Adult Children with SPACE FTL is not punitive, rather it is a compassionate and structured therapy to build agency and confidence within the family.