Expert help for managing parental stress and anxiety
It goes without saying children are a blessing and there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for them. At the same time, the incredible job of raising young humans often comes with a good share of stress and anxiety. Many parents feel overwhelmed with numerous responsibilities and very little social support. Understanding the origin of parenting stress and anxiety and developing a realistic plan to move forward is crucial to managing your mental health and thriving as a modern parent.
Common Sources of Parenting Stress
Competing Responsibilities: We can’t be in two places at once, yet it can feel like our careers and children need us to do exactly that. Juggling work, keeping the house in order, feeding everyone, and taking time for our own self-care and relationships creates pressure. Stress and risks of mental health problems is amplified when we don’t have support or if we’re struggling to keep up financially.
Concerns About Child Development: Worries about your chid’s physical and mental well-being can lead to many hours researching on Google, sacrificing your sleep and creating cycles of rumination and dread. Many parents fear that they are not making the right choices for their child's development, and these fears often increase when children have diagnosed chronic illness, neurodevelopmental delays (eg. ASD, ADHD), behavioral problems, and mental health disorders like separation anxiety or depression.
Societal Expectations: Sometimes cultural norms don’t fit for your child or family. For example, you may choose to educate your child in a non-traditional way because you believe that’s best for them, but stress and anxiety show up when faced with intense scrutiny from the in-laws. Social media provides a distorted view of other people’s family life, and many parents compare themselves and feel they fall short when not living up to “perfect” standards. Comparison can negatively impact mood and increase anxiety with mental preoccupation with parental performance.
Behavioral Challenges: Managing a child's difficult behavior or frequent emotional dysregulation can be stressful. Parents may lack confidence in their ability to respond effectively, and they may face judgment from loved ones and strangers. It’s common for parents to receive conflicting messages about the best approach to behavioral problems, furthering anxiety, stress and exhaustion.
Cultural Concerns: Anxiety about a child’s safety at school due to bullying and violence is a reality for many US parents. Additionally, with the prevalence of phone-based childhoods, many kids and teens consume content that is developmentally inappropriate and parents worry about harmful material. The pressure to protect children non-normative, inappropriate risks can be very stressful.
Strategies for Managing Parental Stress & Anxiety
Practice Self-Compassion: Acknowledge that it’s normal to experience parenting challenges and that you are not alone in this journey. If your stressors feel out of the range of normal, or your stress makes it difficult to function, professional help may be warranted. Be kind to yourself and recognize that a “good enough” parent is the best kind of parent.
Establish a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, faith community, or parenting groups. Sharing experiences and tips can help alleviate feelings of shame and isolation.
Prioritize Your Holistic Health: Make time for activities that restore mind and body like exercise, nutritious food, hobbies, therapy, and being outdoors. It’s true we need to put our oxygen masks on first. Caring for ourselves directly benefits our children.
Implement Mindfulness Techniques: Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help ground into the present moment you when you feel yourself beginning to spiral down a rumination or online research rabbit hole. Mindfulness does not have to involve sitting meditation, walking mindfulness strategies are a better fit for some people.
Set Boundaries: Learn to protect the white space on your calendar by saying no to overcommitments. Consider setting better boundaries on work hours, distracting notifications on your phone, and media consumption to help reduce anxiety and stress.
Seek Professional Help: If parenting stress and anxiety feel like too much to carry on your own, consider reaching out for help.
Parenting is a deep spiritual journey filled with joy and challenges. By recognizing the sources of stress and employing intentional coping strategies, we can carve out a more balanced and fulfilling experience with our children.
You are not alone ♡